Tough

It's been a tough day. I've spent much of the day looking through old photos, smiling and remembering the good times. I got to talk to my cousin and share her grief. I talked to my mom and realized we're all really just going through the motions right now. How long will the motions last? I don't know. Numb is the word that best fits. Our family is making plans to gather. To celebrate her wonderful, crazy, delightful life. To celebrate who she was to each of us. The thing I can't get my mind around is that she won't walk in the door. Right now, I can't bear that thought.