Blessed

I had the honor yesterday of spending the day with our dear friend and his family who I mentioned below. He's in Hospice care now and it was pure joy to sit and hold his hand, give him a hug, and talk with his wife, children, grandchildren and other family who were visiting. He and his wife will celebrate 45 years of marriage in early April. Last night they had an anniversary party. With their families and friends present, they renewed their vows. I have goosebumps now thinking about it. All day long yesterday, I saw God. I saw it in the love in that room, in their love & devotion to each other that was and is SO REAL, so apparent. I saw it in all of the cards and letters they have received...in all of the people who have said to him "You have made a difference in my life". I am one of those people. I was so blessed to witness yesterday. I was so blessed to watch his wife love and care for him. To watch his children & grandchildren love the man they call Papa. I was blessed as I left last night to hug him, kiss his cheek and tell him I love him. I will treasure that time yesterday for the rest of my life...I am so blessed.

Struggling...

I'm sad...
My dad died 17 years ago this July when I was 17. I realized just recently that after this July 17th, he will have been gone from my life longer than he was in it. That makes my heart break. I miss my dad. I miss the man that he was. I miss the fact that I didn't get to know him as an adult. I don't get his advice, his hugs, or to just sit and talk. There have been so many situations in the past few years, that I would love to know his opinion, or to have his guidance. I wish he could have met his grandchildren. I think he would have LOVED being a grandfather. I feel sad for my kids because they don't get to know him.

I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord & Savior. I know that God is there, I know God is real, I know that He lives. He comforts me, He convicts me, He challenges me. I also have the blessing of knowing without a shadow of a doubt that my earthly father is with my Heavenly Father. That is an incredible comfort to me. I know all of these things, in my head and in my heart....but still I wish...

I know why I'm missing my dad (more so now than at other times)...because his best friend is dying. A wonderful, generous 67 year old man is dying and my heart is breaking. I remember when I was 5 or 6 or 7 when 67 seemed so old! But now at 34, 67 isn't old at all. It's young and I want him to have so many years left. Years with his wife and kids and grandkids. He's been a blessing to me for a long time. I sat down this weekend to write him a note, which turned into a letter to try and say thank you, to try and let him know how much I have appreciated him and never said it. As I was thinking back, I realized that this man and his family are in my earliest memories because they were there from the beginning. He and my dad were best friends from Junior High. They were in each other's weddings, settled in the same city, saw each other frequently as they grew older and brought their families up as friends. His children were slightly older than my sister & me so they were our babysitters. Their house was the coolest house I'd ever seen (it still is!) and they were always just there...anniversary celebrations, birthday cards, graduations...they were there.

I have been blessed to know these two men, blessed to have them in my life and blessed to know that soon they will be together again, as my mom said, probably dressing alike & playing practical jokes on each other. I know I have been blessed. And I have hope...I continue to grieve my dad with hope. But still, I'm sad....

Books, Babies and the Mouse

Where did my baby girl go? She's turning into a little lady so quickly! She's sweet and fiesty, cuddly and independent, a delightful (most of the time!) mixture of almost 2 year old sass, attitude and sweetness. Her favorites these days are in this order:

1. Mickey Mouse - Mickey has been the favorite for months now, as evidenced by the HOURS she spent watching mouse on the portable dvd player at mom's house over Christmas. We're on the lookout for more mouse dvds, but sadly the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse dvds are somewhat limited. Is it sad that I have already pre-ordered the one that is coming out in May in hopes of something new? We've had lots and lots of cuddles with mouse playing in the background. Here she's in her favorite MIMI (Minnie) jams pointing out all the characters on her mouse pillow.

2. Babies...Sis received her first baby for her first Christmas over a year ago but didn't really pay attention to her babies until a few months ago. Now I am hard pressed to find her without one. Her favorite is a 1/2 naked baby that routinely gets dropped on her head. I think it will be awhile before she is babysitting.

3. Books - Calling these a favorite is a little bit of a stretch as she loves to hold them and cuddle them and scream loudly if her brother comes too close. Reading them is another story. Her favorite game these days is pulling my hand, pointing at me to sit in her room, going to get a book, backing into my lap and saying BOOK loudly. We open the book to read, and it is quickly slammed shut as she gets up and goes to get another book so the routine can be repeated. I love to sit and watch her during this game, wishing only that she'd spend a little more time in my lap!

So sweet...

Just a little bit of sass....